white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
