bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
