did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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