lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
