Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
