well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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