Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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