id be glad to
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
