even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
