You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
