what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
