I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
