you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
