This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
