I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
