he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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