All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
