I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
