the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
