I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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