But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize
