so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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