i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
