My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
