Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize