it hurts more in the daytime
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
