Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
