I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
