That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
