We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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