I cut my penus on the lid.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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