the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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