Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
In America we eat man semen.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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