i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
