I could make wine with my vomit
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
