I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize