i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
