I wish I could punch you in the face.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
