That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
