Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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