I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
