I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
are you so shy because you have an std?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
