k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
