I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just high enough for therapy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
