Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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