she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
