So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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