my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
