Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
