i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
