He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I will die if light touches me.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Randomize
