it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
