Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
