I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
