How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
