Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
