Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
