its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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