Do you still have your period?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
